Smilin'

Over the past month or so I have had to get some major mouth work done. It has been, painful, time consuming, and extremely expensive. I have been fighting to keep a good perspective and to continue to entrust this whole situation to the Lord.

One of the things that keeps running through my mind is a picture of a woman that I met in a rural village in India. It took so long to drive out there and it was in the middle of nowhere. When our team arrived at this village the people ran to us. This particular woman stood in the back and just smiled (the universal language). I could barely look at her smile though. He teeth were so mangled and bloody it just looked so painful! I remember thinking then, how does this woman live with this pain?? It is there all the time, it can keep you from eating and talking- how miserable!! This woman popped into my head the day that my dentist told me that I was going to have to get a root canal and a crown and that this is a very involved process. This woman had no hope int his world of ever being relieved from this pain, forget the fact that she probably would never be able to afford it, she would never even have access to a dentist. This really made me so grateful for this opportunity to have this pain taken away by a professional who does this all the time. This realization makes me sad as well. There is no way that I deserve to have this opportunity over this woman. I don't know why God would see fit to provide this opportunity to me and not this woman, it doesn't make sense but I do know that with this opportunity He has entrusted responsibility to me because of this opportunity.

This procedure involves them drilling my decayed tooth, putting on a temporary tooth, cutting my gums and performing surgery to put in an implant for a crown, allowing my gums to recover for 6 weeks, and then finally putting on my crown. I have just finished the surgery. I am in pain and feel very restricted in my mouth movements. This made me think (once again) about how I take for granted even the ability to communicate by talking but also by smiling to people. I literally can not smile at people right now because of my stitches. It is also very taxing to talk too, I just sit like a lump on the log. I think (or at least I hope!) that when I am healed from this I will rejoice in the fact that I can communicate with people and enjoy the freedom of talking again!!

One other thing that I will do after this is all done- I WILL BRUSH MY TEETH AND FLOSS AND GO TO THE DENTIST EVERY 6 MONTHS and I encourage you to do this too! I do not want any of my friends to go through any of this!!!!!!

Why I Love Coaching!

After I get done coaching the kids, if I don't have anything to do after practice I get in the water and swim for a bit. I love the water and the feeling I always get when I swim. I am all alone and everything is quiet. I love the way I feel and move in the water- I'm no longer this klutzy awkward girl, instead I feel elegant and confident! I also love the fact that in the water I am all alone and everything is quiet. This is such a wonderful time to pray and hear from the Lord for me. During my college swimming career I had PLENTY of time to have this happen and I always loved it!

Today as I was swimming I was thinking about the previous practice and what I could have done better and what we need to work on the next day. Today I worked really hard on them with the breaststroke. This is my least favorite stroke and it's also one where I feel the least confident in my ability. Because of this it was very hard to communicate to these swimmers the foundation of this certain stroke. Needless to say I was very frustrated!

One of the things I always tell the kids is how important it is to lay a foundation of having the correct stroke because that is something that you can always go back to and you will always be able to build upon. That foundation laying has been so important for me. I am not a fast swimmer but I have a good stroke and I am a hard worker- those were the only 2 reasons I was able to swim on the UNF D-1 women's swim team and that's the only reason I get can pick up and start swimming anywhere there's water and almost always get a compliment.

Then I started thinking again about how even more important it is to have a spiritual foundation in our lives. There is no getting away from this foundation- it shapes everything we do, say, or think! How can I help others lay a gospel foundation if I don't have a strong foundation myself? That has been my struggle this past year in many areas. We never get past the gospel- and our understanding of the gospel and thus our view of God affects everything, we simply can not escape that!! Circumstances reveal how deep I truly believe the Gospel of Christ. And then even how I respond to the shallowness of my belief causes me even more despair! I have learned that I must always go back to the foundation of the gospel and ask the question- how does this show me about what I'm not believing about the gospel? No area is immuned to this probing question. To the degree that I'm applying the gospel to my life is the degree to which I can help others by asking this same question and thus help them lay a strong gospel foundation.

So as I coach people in the pool and in life I am constantly reminded how important the foundation really is and how it truly affects everything! I don't even know who taught me the swimming skills that I possess now but I am so, so thankful that they took the time to teach them to me! I do know the woman who taught me the spiritual foundation that God has made me the woman that I now am- Annette Ashley played a huge part in it but God has used so many amazing women along the way to continue to remind me of the importance of the gospel in every area of my life.

This goes along with my 2 Peter post from a few weeks ago and the importance of reminding people of these things! I am excited to spend the rest of my life continuing to be challenged by the radical gospel of Jesus Christ!!

Oh and why do I love coaching? I love to see the kids get it and turn their struggling stroke into a beautiful stroke! This is the same reason I love ministering to people- sharing the gospel with them and watching their eyes light up when they get it!! To watch their struggling lives be changed by the gospel and see them transformed before my very eyes- this is just a small taste of heaven to me!

Wahoo!!!

For the past 6 summers I have been heavily involved in a Campus Outreach Summer Project. So, summers for me have been pretty crazy and I have been traveling allllllll over the place. This summer is the first summer where I do not have to leave for a month and I also am not traveling all over the world. I was not very excited about not being crazy busy and all over the place so I began praying and asking God what He wants me to do with this summer and even for unique opportunities that I haven't been able to take advantage of.

One opportunity that I have been presented is to be an assistant coach on a summer rec swim team! This literally came out of the blue. The head coach is the older sister of one of my former teammates at UNF. The original assistant coach quick right before the season started and so the head coach was scrambling and heard that I was around this summer so she got in contact with me!

I am so excited to be back around the swimming pool again and even more excited to share with these young simmers my love of swimming! This is a wonderful opportunity to be a part of the Jacksonville community as well.

I could definitely use prayers for wisdom as I coach these kids and interact with their parents! I want to coach these kids so well and help them get better- I need to know the balance of pushing them to work hard yet not making them feel discouraged! I have definitely had my fair share of bad and discouraging coaches so I am trying to just do the opposite of what I learned from them!

I'm excited to be a swim coach for the glory of God!!!


By the way- the name of my team is the Wahoos- hence the blog title. :)

I Hate Dating!!

I've always been told never to say that I hate something but well I have to admit that I really do hate dating. No I don't hate all types of dating but the dating that feels like an audition rather than a friendship. Now I do not have a ton of experience in this area and actually I tend to run the other way if there is an attractive man in the same room as me- the reason I run is because I just hate dating and I don't even want to allow room for the opportunity for a date!

The last 2 guys I "dated" (and I use the word dating loosely) felt more like I was being auditioned for the perfect wife role. I had such a hard time being myself because I didn't know these guys and I was forced into being in intimate settings with them and to share my life and my feelings with them. It was so difficult for me and my walls were up very high. I felt uncomfortable the whole time and it became so exhausting! I desired to build more of a friendship with these guys but they were both pretty insistent on talking and acting as more than friends- which I am very bad at. I would freeze up and not be myself. I think that both guys got glimpses of who I am but they in no way saw the real Jenny. Neither of them stuck around long enough to allow me to put my walls down to show them who I really am.

This really bothers me and haunts me because I so love connecting with people and building relationships- it is a huge value to me. When I struggled in connecting and feeling comfortable with the first guy I kind of shrugged it off because well let's just say that guy was everything but a wonderful Godly and mature man, but when I had the same type of issues with the second guy who was absolutely wonderful and incredible- my fears were confirmed.

I guess I would say that my ideal "dating" situation would be being friends with a guy and having shared experiences with him. I would love to be able to build the foundation of friendship in a community where I can see him interact with others and he could observe me as well. I would love to be able to go out with a guy for dinner not feeling like I am on an audition but because he has observed me being the ridiculous girl that I am and wanting to spend more time with me. Because I would be comfortable with him, I would be more able to be myself and feel safe to be more vulnerable. These previous dates I was so nervous and was just waiting for them to find something about me that they didn't like. I know that these insecurities are not all to blame on the guys but feeling analyzed and scrutinized to make sure I fit their qualifications or to make sure that I'm worth the pursuit or the distance or whatever it is certainly does not help a girl!

So, my conclusion in all of this is that the Lord will truly have to work a miracle in this area if He desires for me to be married. He would need to provide a very patient, loving, confident, and affirming man to minister to and befriend this insecure, quirky, independent woman! And at this point in my life- I could care less if he is taller than me- I've given up on that dream! ;)

Thoughts on 2 Peter

I love, love, love reading the accounts of Peter and what he writes to the saints- mostly because I see so much of myself in Peter's rashness and immaturity but still the presence of his desire to be used by the Lord. 1 and 2 Peter have so much more meaning when I read them after knowing and seeing his struggles and failures firsthand in the Gospels and Acts.

2 Peter 1:12-15
So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus has made it clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

What will Peter remind the people of?
their election and calling

why? because our memory always needs refreshing and reminding. We act in light of who we believe ourselves to be- Peter gets that!!

we must always review the basics of our Christian faith. Good athletes can execute the fundamentals consistently well. We must not neglect the basics of our faith when we go on to study "deeper" truths. Just as an athlete needs constant practice, so do we need constant reminders of the fundamentals of our faith and how we came to believe in the first place. I must not allow myself to be bored or impatient with messages on the "basics" of the Christian life. I must practice and refine the basics as an athlete does even while learning more advanced skills.

- Do I care so deeply about God's truth and promises that I will go to great lengths to remind believers? And when I'm away from them will I continue to think and pray for them?

- Do I want to challenge other believers out of my love for Christ? even when it's hard and uncomfortable?

I, myself, need reminding!! Peter says that he will ALWAYS be ready to remind them of these things!

- He was aware of the human heart and how it doubts and distorts the cross
- He recognizes how we need to be reminded of the simplicity of the Gospel
- he knows that people need to be in a community where they can understand, grasp and teach God's truth.

In other words, Peter's eyes were off of himself and on those who were around him. His ultimate goal was to see where the people were at and meet them there and be a part of helping them move forward in their relationship with God. This is taxing, uncomfortable, and not easy! Yet- it is the most rewarding thing any of us could ever be a part of!

To Love God is to Love His Will

To Love God is to love His will. It is to wait quietly for life to be measured out by the One who knows us through and through.

E.B. Pusley's rules to gain contentment:

1) Allow thyself to complain of nothing, not even the weather

2)Never picture thyself to thyself under any circumstances in which thou are not

3) Never compare thine own lot with that of another

4) Never allow thyself to dwell on the wish that this or that had been, or were, otherwise than it was, or is. God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than thou doest thyself.

5) Never dwell on the morrow. Remember, that it is God's not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is to look forward to it. "The Lord will provide."

Thoughts- perfection does not consist in understanding God's design but in submitting to them. The whole essence of the spiritual life consists in recognizing the designs of God for us at that present moment- and that is something I don't want to miss!!


These notes and quotes were written by me in my journal August 13, 2004. I had just graduated from college and had spent 2 months in South Africa. I was trying to figure out what God wanted to do with my life. I know that when I was struggling through many questions and adjusting to life after college that I thought that this was probably the only time that I would be struggling with contentment- well as we all know- it is a lifelong struggle. Almost 6 years later I sit here with the same struggles, all the while preaching these truth's to my soul so that I won't be paralyzed by unmet dreams or fear of the future- and I know that this will not be my last time. I do pray that each time I am filled with doubt of God's provision, disappointment with what isn't happening in my life, I will have increasingly more in my arsenal to preach to my heart and soul because I know that as life continues the contentment issue only increases and involves bigger struggles than grades or cars.

Sweet Sisters

Colossians 1:3-7
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints- the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth.


I write this verse thinking about the girls that I have had the privilege to meet with over this past year. Today was my last day meeting with them for the semester. We spent a lot of time laughing and reflecting on the past semester and then we spent time praying for each other and for our ministries. I left my time with these girls with such a full heart and a goofy smile on my face. I am so blessed to spend my days watching God transform people's hearts and relationships. One of the biggest things we have been studying this semester is about the importance of community and I have really seen that happen between these girls who were virtually strangers in the beginning of the school year. One of the reasons community is so important is for ministry- to be on a team expanding God's Kingdom. It has been wonderful watching this happen before my eyes and the multiplying effects that it has had.

I struggle so much in ministry with expectation both of myself and those who I minister to. I confess that I have had many more disappointments than joys and I carry those disappointments with me often. I allow them to weigh me down and make me doubt God's call on my life- oftentimes I can become paralyzed by my discouragement. I look too often on what I don't see happening and miss what God is doing. I am so thankful to have taken time today to praise God for the women He has raised up continually at UNF since my freshmen year and how He is not finished with this campus yet!!