I love hearing stories of God's redemption in people's lives and I equally love getting to share about the Lord from what He is teaching me in my life. I heard someone say that they think that one of the things we will do in Heaven is share our stories of God working in each others lives- and I agree!!
One of the reason I wanted to start this blog was not because I in anyway have all of the answers but because I am trusting that the Lord would use some of what He is teaching me to teach others. Looking through many of Paul's letters that he wrote to the various churches he talks over and over again about sharing things about our lives for God's glory. In Philippians 1:12 he writes- Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. At the end of Ephesians he talks of being an ambassador of Christ and asks that they pray that whenever he opens his mouth he would be declaring the gospel. Even in Galatians when Paul is talking about his argument that he got in with Peter, he shares this in order that the Galatians might gain a better understanding of the far reaching changes that the gospel should be making in each of our lives!
I love that Paul is so intentional to share about things in order to help people know God more. I pray that my life would be characterized by this! In order to do this we must pray that God would give us eyes to see above the current circumstances that we are in and ask Him to redeem these situations! Sometimes we see His redemption and oftentimes we don't. As I have written about in previous posts, 2009 was a difficult year relationally with me due to May man 2009. Over all I still don't completely understand why the Lord would have brought this guy into my life but I do see His redemption amidst my hurt and confusion and I am so thankful for it. God has used this past "relationship" to give many women the wisdom that I have gained from this circumstance and hopefully spared them some unneeded pain as well! I am so thankful for the opportunity to minister to these girls out of my weakness and I in no way hate this man or think ill of him at all. I also do not want to portray him in a bad light- he and I are both sinners and we were in a relationship. I pray that he would use whatever wisdom he gained from this "relationship" with me to minister to others and help to guide them in the way of having healthy relationships with the opposite sex.
The reason I wanted to write this is because my (wonderful!) roommate and a few others questioned my reference to this guy and were understandably concerned. I feel freedom to talk about this guy because I am not writing about him out of revenge or spite but because the Lord has truly used my time with him to show me so many valuable things that have affected my relationship with the Lord, men, and the people that I minister to. While my motives to talk about May Man 2009 might be pure (as pure as my motives can be) I can't say the same about May Man 2008 so he most likely won't be mentioned much on my blog or in conversation- why invite an opportunity to sin, right? haha
I pray that throughout all of our interactions with people we can take advantage of opportunities to have Christ glorified in our weaknesses- whether it be relationally, health-wise, financially, in fears about the future, struggles with fertility, struggles with singleness or struggles with insecurities in general. I am so thankful for the woman who have and continue to share their lives with me and are continually bringing me back to the Cross to learn more and more of the Lord and His sacrifice for us all!!
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Smilin'
Over the past month or so I have had to get some major mouth work done. It has been, painful, time consuming, and extremely expensive. I have been fighting to keep a good perspective and to continue to entrust this whole situation to the Lord.
One of the things that keeps running through my mind is a picture of a woman that I met in a rural village in India. It took so long to drive out there and it was in the middle of nowhere. When our team arrived at this village the people ran to us. This particular woman stood in the back and just smiled (the universal language). I could barely look at her smile though. He teeth were so mangled and bloody it just looked so painful! I remember thinking then, how does this woman live with this pain?? It is there all the time, it can keep you from eating and talking- how miserable!! This woman popped into my head the day that my dentist told me that I was going to have to get a root canal and a crown and that this is a very involved process. This woman had no hope int his world of ever being relieved from this pain, forget the fact that she probably would never be able to afford it, she would never even have access to a dentist. This really made me so grateful for this opportunity to have this pain taken away by a professional who does this all the time. This realization makes me sad as well. There is no way that I deserve to have this opportunity over this woman. I don't know why God would see fit to provide this opportunity to me and not this woman, it doesn't make sense but I do know that with this opportunity He has entrusted responsibility to me because of this opportunity.
This procedure involves them drilling my decayed tooth, putting on a temporary tooth, cutting my gums and performing surgery to put in an implant for a crown, allowing my gums to recover for 6 weeks, and then finally putting on my crown. I have just finished the surgery. I am in pain and feel very restricted in my mouth movements. This made me think (once again) about how I take for granted even the ability to communicate by talking but also by smiling to people. I literally can not smile at people right now because of my stitches. It is also very taxing to talk too, I just sit like a lump on the log. I think (or at least I hope!) that when I am healed from this I will rejoice in the fact that I can communicate with people and enjoy the freedom of talking again!!
One other thing that I will do after this is all done- I WILL BRUSH MY TEETH AND FLOSS AND GO TO THE DENTIST EVERY 6 MONTHS and I encourage you to do this too! I do not want any of my friends to go through any of this!!!!!!
One of the things that keeps running through my mind is a picture of a woman that I met in a rural village in India. It took so long to drive out there and it was in the middle of nowhere. When our team arrived at this village the people ran to us. This particular woman stood in the back and just smiled (the universal language). I could barely look at her smile though. He teeth were so mangled and bloody it just looked so painful! I remember thinking then, how does this woman live with this pain?? It is there all the time, it can keep you from eating and talking- how miserable!! This woman popped into my head the day that my dentist told me that I was going to have to get a root canal and a crown and that this is a very involved process. This woman had no hope int his world of ever being relieved from this pain, forget the fact that she probably would never be able to afford it, she would never even have access to a dentist. This really made me so grateful for this opportunity to have this pain taken away by a professional who does this all the time. This realization makes me sad as well. There is no way that I deserve to have this opportunity over this woman. I don't know why God would see fit to provide this opportunity to me and not this woman, it doesn't make sense but I do know that with this opportunity He has entrusted responsibility to me because of this opportunity.
This procedure involves them drilling my decayed tooth, putting on a temporary tooth, cutting my gums and performing surgery to put in an implant for a crown, allowing my gums to recover for 6 weeks, and then finally putting on my crown. I have just finished the surgery. I am in pain and feel very restricted in my mouth movements. This made me think (once again) about how I take for granted even the ability to communicate by talking but also by smiling to people. I literally can not smile at people right now because of my stitches. It is also very taxing to talk too, I just sit like a lump on the log. I think (or at least I hope!) that when I am healed from this I will rejoice in the fact that I can communicate with people and enjoy the freedom of talking again!!
One other thing that I will do after this is all done- I WILL BRUSH MY TEETH AND FLOSS AND GO TO THE DENTIST EVERY 6 MONTHS and I encourage you to do this too! I do not want any of my friends to go through any of this!!!!!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Thoughts on 2 Peter
I love, love, love reading the accounts of Peter and what he writes to the saints- mostly because I see so much of myself in Peter's rashness and immaturity but still the presence of his desire to be used by the Lord. 1 and 2 Peter have so much more meaning when I read them after knowing and seeing his struggles and failures firsthand in the Gospels and Acts.
2 Peter 1:12-15
So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus has made it clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.
What will Peter remind the people of?
their election and calling
why? because our memory always needs refreshing and reminding. We act in light of who we believe ourselves to be- Peter gets that!!
we must always review the basics of our Christian faith. Good athletes can execute the fundamentals consistently well. We must not neglect the basics of our faith when we go on to study "deeper" truths. Just as an athlete needs constant practice, so do we need constant reminders of the fundamentals of our faith and how we came to believe in the first place. I must not allow myself to be bored or impatient with messages on the "basics" of the Christian life. I must practice and refine the basics as an athlete does even while learning more advanced skills.
- Do I care so deeply about God's truth and promises that I will go to great lengths to remind believers? And when I'm away from them will I continue to think and pray for them?
- Do I want to challenge other believers out of my love for Christ? even when it's hard and uncomfortable?
I, myself, need reminding!! Peter says that he will ALWAYS be ready to remind them of these things!
- He was aware of the human heart and how it doubts and distorts the cross
- He recognizes how we need to be reminded of the simplicity of the Gospel
- he knows that people need to be in a community where they can understand, grasp and teach God's truth.
In other words, Peter's eyes were off of himself and on those who were around him. His ultimate goal was to see where the people were at and meet them there and be a part of helping them move forward in their relationship with God. This is taxing, uncomfortable, and not easy! Yet- it is the most rewarding thing any of us could ever be a part of!
2 Peter 1:12-15
So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus has made it clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.
What will Peter remind the people of?
their election and calling
why? because our memory always needs refreshing and reminding. We act in light of who we believe ourselves to be- Peter gets that!!
we must always review the basics of our Christian faith. Good athletes can execute the fundamentals consistently well. We must not neglect the basics of our faith when we go on to study "deeper" truths. Just as an athlete needs constant practice, so do we need constant reminders of the fundamentals of our faith and how we came to believe in the first place. I must not allow myself to be bored or impatient with messages on the "basics" of the Christian life. I must practice and refine the basics as an athlete does even while learning more advanced skills.
- Do I care so deeply about God's truth and promises that I will go to great lengths to remind believers? And when I'm away from them will I continue to think and pray for them?
- Do I want to challenge other believers out of my love for Christ? even when it's hard and uncomfortable?
I, myself, need reminding!! Peter says that he will ALWAYS be ready to remind them of these things!
- He was aware of the human heart and how it doubts and distorts the cross
- He recognizes how we need to be reminded of the simplicity of the Gospel
- he knows that people need to be in a community where they can understand, grasp and teach God's truth.
In other words, Peter's eyes were off of himself and on those who were around him. His ultimate goal was to see where the people were at and meet them there and be a part of helping them move forward in their relationship with God. This is taxing, uncomfortable, and not easy! Yet- it is the most rewarding thing any of us could ever be a part of!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
To Love God is to Love His Will
To Love God is to love His will. It is to wait quietly for life to be measured out by the One who knows us through and through.
E.B. Pusley's rules to gain contentment:
1) Allow thyself to complain of nothing, not even the weather
2)Never picture thyself to thyself under any circumstances in which thou are not
3) Never compare thine own lot with that of another
4) Never allow thyself to dwell on the wish that this or that had been, or were, otherwise than it was, or is. God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than thou doest thyself.
5) Never dwell on the morrow. Remember, that it is God's not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is to look forward to it. "The Lord will provide."
Thoughts- perfection does not consist in understanding God's design but in submitting to them. The whole essence of the spiritual life consists in recognizing the designs of God for us at that present moment- and that is something I don't want to miss!!
These notes and quotes were written by me in my journal August 13, 2004. I had just graduated from college and had spent 2 months in South Africa. I was trying to figure out what God wanted to do with my life. I know that when I was struggling through many questions and adjusting to life after college that I thought that this was probably the only time that I would be struggling with contentment- well as we all know- it is a lifelong struggle. Almost 6 years later I sit here with the same struggles, all the while preaching these truth's to my soul so that I won't be paralyzed by unmet dreams or fear of the future- and I know that this will not be my last time. I do pray that each time I am filled with doubt of God's provision, disappointment with what isn't happening in my life, I will have increasingly more in my arsenal to preach to my heart and soul because I know that as life continues the contentment issue only increases and involves bigger struggles than grades or cars.
E.B. Pusley's rules to gain contentment:
1) Allow thyself to complain of nothing, not even the weather
2)Never picture thyself to thyself under any circumstances in which thou are not
3) Never compare thine own lot with that of another
4) Never allow thyself to dwell on the wish that this or that had been, or were, otherwise than it was, or is. God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than thou doest thyself.
5) Never dwell on the morrow. Remember, that it is God's not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is to look forward to it. "The Lord will provide."
Thoughts- perfection does not consist in understanding God's design but in submitting to them. The whole essence of the spiritual life consists in recognizing the designs of God for us at that present moment- and that is something I don't want to miss!!
These notes and quotes were written by me in my journal August 13, 2004. I had just graduated from college and had spent 2 months in South Africa. I was trying to figure out what God wanted to do with my life. I know that when I was struggling through many questions and adjusting to life after college that I thought that this was probably the only time that I would be struggling with contentment- well as we all know- it is a lifelong struggle. Almost 6 years later I sit here with the same struggles, all the while preaching these truth's to my soul so that I won't be paralyzed by unmet dreams or fear of the future- and I know that this will not be my last time. I do pray that each time I am filled with doubt of God's provision, disappointment with what isn't happening in my life, I will have increasingly more in my arsenal to preach to my heart and soul because I know that as life continues the contentment issue only increases and involves bigger struggles than grades or cars.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Intentionally Detached
So many thoughts go through my mind as I approach the Easter weekend. I feel such gratefulness, sadness, joy, awe, and a little bit of guilt. I mention the guilt because I still can't believe that the Perfect Son of Man would die for the sins of many. I still can't believe that He would want to save a selfish brat like myself when I am so concerned with my life, my dreams, and my comfort- my, my, my!!!! I titled this "Intentionally Detached" because this comes from a sermon I listened to about 4 years ago and it still sits with me today because unlike Jesus I am not detached to myself or the things of the world. Allow me to explain...
The text of this is Luke 9:51-62
In the beginning of this text Jesus is heading towards Jerusalem. The people in a Samaritan village He was about to pass through heard He was coming and made it very known to Him that He was not welcome. Of course Jesus didn't get upset and actually saved this village from James and John calling down judgment on this village.
In the next section we kind of listen in on a conversation about the cost of following Christ and His challenge to hold onto the things of this world very loosely.
Some reflection questions I get from this text are:
Am I too attached to myself, my opinions, my need to be right?
My need is to be detached. I must detach myself from the things of this world so that I can serve Him faithfully and with both hands!
My service to Jesus is directly and adversely affected by my attachments to this life.
Jesus detached Himself from what this world deserves and attaches Himself to showing mercy- Jesus goes to people who do not deserve His mercy!
I need to be intentional about detaching myself from the world and its comforts, from my value system, from the pursuit of human affections and their idolatry.
In order to detach myself from these things I must ask the Lord to reveal how attached I am to these things. I think the Lord began to reveal how attached I am to many of these things while I was in India and observed how detached the Indian Christians were. Their detachment allowed for them to be so freed up. They were freed up to love God deeply and in turn love people deeply. I have never seen anything like it in my life. I was/am so utterly convicted by such Christ-like examples that I had the privilege to witness.
The text of this is Luke 9:51-62
In the beginning of this text Jesus is heading towards Jerusalem. The people in a Samaritan village He was about to pass through heard He was coming and made it very known to Him that He was not welcome. Of course Jesus didn't get upset and actually saved this village from James and John calling down judgment on this village.
In the next section we kind of listen in on a conversation about the cost of following Christ and His challenge to hold onto the things of this world very loosely.
Some reflection questions I get from this text are:
Am I too attached to myself, my opinions, my need to be right?
My need is to be detached. I must detach myself from the things of this world so that I can serve Him faithfully and with both hands!
My service to Jesus is directly and adversely affected by my attachments to this life.
Jesus detached Himself from what this world deserves and attaches Himself to showing mercy- Jesus goes to people who do not deserve His mercy!
I need to be intentional about detaching myself from the world and its comforts, from my value system, from the pursuit of human affections and their idolatry.
In order to detach myself from these things I must ask the Lord to reveal how attached I am to these things. I think the Lord began to reveal how attached I am to many of these things while I was in India and observed how detached the Indian Christians were. Their detachment allowed for them to be so freed up. They were freed up to love God deeply and in turn love people deeply. I have never seen anything like it in my life. I was/am so utterly convicted by such Christ-like examples that I had the privilege to witness.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul thirsts for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your god?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul; how I used to speak to the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you downcast o my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan, the heights of Hermon- from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls, all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is with me- a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, "Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by my enemy?" My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.
I just love this beautiful Psalm. I think I like it because it is a good example of my up and down prayers that I pray and the psalmists honesty before the Lord. It seems as if just when we get to the point where we truly desire God and long for Him, enemies creep up and cause us to question even the existence of God much less that He cares about little old me! Satan and unbelievers cause us to question God because they can target areas where God hasn't really done what I've wanted Him to do. So, this area is already weak and they seem to push in on it. When (not if) this happens we take the focus off of who God is and what He HAS done and instead look at areas that cause us to doubt the goodness of God.
I also think the psalmist shows a great example of preaching to yourself when you feel attacked and your soul is downcast within. Even to pause and ask why my soul feels downcast will cause me to get to the root of things and then once I do, I'll be able to effectively preach to myself who God is and remember ALL that He has done!
This psalm confirms that this the thirst we have in this life is real, the longing is there and it is a fight to go to the Everlasting One to quench our thirst instead of to quick fixes like success, relationships, and many other things we look to in this life.
I just love this beautiful Psalm. I think I like it because it is a good example of my up and down prayers that I pray and the psalmists honesty before the Lord. It seems as if just when we get to the point where we truly desire God and long for Him, enemies creep up and cause us to question even the existence of God much less that He cares about little old me! Satan and unbelievers cause us to question God because they can target areas where God hasn't really done what I've wanted Him to do. So, this area is already weak and they seem to push in on it. When (not if) this happens we take the focus off of who God is and what He HAS done and instead look at areas that cause us to doubt the goodness of God.
I also think the psalmist shows a great example of preaching to yourself when you feel attacked and your soul is downcast within. Even to pause and ask why my soul feels downcast will cause me to get to the root of things and then once I do, I'll be able to effectively preach to myself who God is and remember ALL that He has done!
This psalm confirms that this the thirst we have in this life is real, the longing is there and it is a fight to go to the Everlasting One to quench our thirst instead of to quick fixes like success, relationships, and many other things we look to in this life.
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