Sweet Blessings During a Bittersweet Time

In Paul's passion filled letter to the Ephesian church much of what he writes to them is what he is praying for them. In Chapter 3:20-21 he reminds them that our Lord can do immeasurably more than ALL we can ask or imagine and the reason why is because His working is not according to our faith or power- but His power that is at work within us. Paul then reminds us that this power is working in and through us so that God can get the glory in this generation and in the next.

This passage has always meant so much to me and even more so at this point in my life. I struggle so much with doubt that the Lord would actually use me or has a perfect plan for my life. The mundane things in this life get me down as well as the broken dreams or unfulfilled desires. This verse seems to be telling us to dream big, to trust God for big or impossible things and to look around and watch Him work- for His glory. So often I don't even attempt hard or scary things because I am so scared to fail or look like a fool, but in reality, not stepping out in faith is the foolish thing to do knowing what we know about God and His mighty power within us. I am reminded of the C.S. Lewis quote that challenges us with how easily pleased we are with playing a mud pile when the Lord offers us a resort by the sea. We are often too preoccupied or scared to look up and see!
Paul addresses this earlier in Ephesians 1:18 when he writes- I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you...

We need to have spiritual eyes to see the great and glorious things in which the Lord is doing and has done- oftentimes those things don't look like much to the world. Take for example friendship. This is so important to me and is one of the top values of my life. I met most of my dearest friends my freshmen year of college right when I became a Christian and started understanding the things of the Lord. I have been friends with most of those girls for 10 years now. These aren't just my friends, these are my sisters, and my mentors. I learn from their lives and how they are wives and mothers and ministers. It is important for me to think about the time when I initially met them- it didn't seem like much at the time but the impact that they have had in my life is immeasurable.

Currently, I am struggling with looking around and only seeing what God hasn't done and desires that He hasn't fulfilled but Paul reminds me in Ephesians that where there might seem to be an emptiness there is room for the Lord to redeem that for His glory. This is the tension where I am living. I am tasting the bitterness of unfulfilled dreams and desires of having a husband and a family and seeing the Lord provide in that way yet I have to will myself daily to look up and see where He is working and blessing me. When I fight for this view I truly taste of the Lord's sweetness and am delighted in Him. I know that this is a struggle for every Christian in many different areas and I am very aware that if the Lord does ever provide a husband and a family then this longing will be transferred to another area so I am thankful that at 28 years young I have the opportunity to submit these things to the One who is worthy of all of my heart.


I am also thankful for the Lord abundantly providing in areas where I really didn't think to pray and ask Him to. He provided in His wisdom and I couldn't be more happy with His provision. As I mentioned before, He has provided me with wonderful sisters who have walked with me, and I've walked with them as well. We are currently spread out all over the country but we try to do a yearly reunion and we just got back from it a few weeks ago. These weekends are always fun and filled with laughs (mostly at my expense, as usual) and are always good reminders of the Lord's goodness to us. I come away from these weekends thinking that I got a little taste of what Heaven will be like one day.

Here is a poem that I recently read that made me think of these women and the friendships that we share-

Hide not thy tears, weep boldly and be found
To give the flowing virtue manly way;
'Tis natures mark to know an honest heart by;

Shame on those hearts that can not melt in soft a'loption of another's sorrow
No radiant pearl which created fortune wears,
No gem that twinkling, hangs, from beauty's ears, not the bright stars,
Which nights' blue arch adorn, nor
Rising suns that gild the vernal morn,
Shine with such lustre as the tear that treaks for other's woe
Down virtue's manly cheeks

- Darwin


Our friendships include many laughs but many tears as well as we trust the Lord to lead us through our journey Home and I am so thankful that He has provided friends to both rejoice and weep with.