An Exchange of Joys

Isaiah 54 begins with "Sing, O barren one, who did not bear, break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married," says the Lord. "Enlarge the place of you tent, and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your chords and strengthen your stakes."

Why should I sing? I'm barren and unable to multiply because I'm still single!!
I can sing because of God's eternal covenant of peace. The everlasting love of God will heal all of my sorrows. God is telling me to prepare joyfully for the future that He has for me!


I am here smack in the middle of 2 weddings of girls who I care about so deeply. I'm full of excitement and joy for these 2 couples but then in my quiet times I become filled with such longing and questions about God's plan for my life in this area.

I have felt lately that God has taken a magnifying glass to this particular area over this past year. A lot of times I have been so frustrated and honestly annoyed at the Lord's blatant attention to this area- it literally feels like I can not escape from talk of marriage or being involved in weddings in some way- whether it be a bridesmaid, cake cutter, or guest book coordinator. While sometimes I feel like God is being cruel, I do actually feel like He is just being a surgeon. He is being so intentional to expose the idols in my heart and He's doing it by allowing me to be a part of these wonderful women's lives as they get what I so badly desire. It is a fight to keep my eyes off of myself and keep them on these girls. I feel so blessed to be a part of what God has called them to, yet my heart is breaking at the loss of my dreams year after year.

I truly am thankful for the Lord's commitment to exposure in this area. Isaiah 54 has been something that I've been looking to and meditating on. God is telling the barren woman to rejoice and is also foretelling of the new covenant (Galatians 4:25-28) where I can have spiritual children!!

This makes me think of the wonderful exchange of joys that I'm able to experience because my dreams of being a wife and mother haven't happened yet and truthfully may never happen.
Here are a few things that come to mind:

I've been able to work for the past 5 years with a ministry that I wholeheartedly believe in (that would be Campus Outreach Florida)

I have traveled to many places in the world without worrying about what I'm leaving behind

I have watched God open countless women's eyes to His glory and grace in their lives

I have experienced the supernatural provision of the Lord by living on support for over 5 years- the Lord is my ultimate provider!

I have been able to give my life fully to others without worrying or struggling with how to balance my family life

I've been able to show young girls that marriage is not the ultimate life goal- God's glory is

I've been able to experience many, many awkward dates and set-ups with guys that I will be sharing more of in the near future :)

I've seen God use my brokenness in this area to draw me closer to Him



God has (and continues to) give me capacity to have many spiritual daughters, some of which are-

my past and future roommates, student-athletes, new wives, going to Africa, about to graduate, co-workers, teachers, sorority members, and so on...


As painful as it sometimes can be, I truly am so thankful that the Lord is pressing in on me in this area. He is committed to His glory in my life and that takes exposure- which isn't pretty!